


Personal Matter

by mystery_deer



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Relationship Advice, Rosa and Holt is a good dynamic, Rosa isn't very prominent it's from Holt's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 04:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystery_deer/pseuds/mystery_deer
Summary: Rosa asks Holt how he deals with emotions in a partnership





	Personal Matter

“Sir?” Holt looked up as Rosa entered his office and shut the door. He removed his glasses and steepled his hands.   
“Yes?”  
“It’s about Jocelyn.”  
“Oh...a personal matter?” He glanced at the door as if looking for an escape. “Very well. Would you like to-” He paused as if the next word physically pained him. “Dish?”  
“God no, this is already terrible enough.” Holt hummed in agreement and Rosa squirmed a bit in her chair, making her posture more intimidating. “How do you do it, with Kevin?”

“What? Detective Diaz if this is another Monty H-”  
“I mean.” She said, interrupting him. “How do you make it work with him? With all...the emotions? The feelings?” 

Holt tilted his head slightly. “Diaz, you have feelings.”  
“Take that back.”  
“I will not. I have feelings, as do you.”  
“Ugh, I know I just…” She tapped her foot and Holt stared at it, hoping the floor wouldn’t scuff. “I don’t feel them like she does. With her everything’s so big and exciting and she’s always...smiling and…” She trailed off, her lips lifting in a small grin that Holt noticed but chose not to mention. He was too preoccupied by the prospect of his floor scuffing.

“When Kevin and I first began dating the issue of feelings was brought up many times. I often found myself at a loss for how to handle his emotions.”  
__________________________

The first time he heard Kevin crying they were in a movie theatre and Kevin was moved to tears by the performance.   
Raymond pretended not to hear and nothing more was said about it.  
“Did you enjoy the movie?” he’d had asked as they exited. They were so close they could almost touch but they didn’t, wouldn’t.   
“Yes, immensely.” Kevin said, eyes a pinkish hue. “I particularly enjoyed the long stretches of silence.” 

________________________

“I knew then and there that he was the man for me. And that I needed to shape up to be the man for him.”  
“So what’d you do?”  
“I asked my sister for help. And then when that proved to be wholly ineffective I asked my mother.”

________________________

“I see, that seems to be quite a conundrum.”  
“Yes.”  
“And you want to make it work with him?”  
“Yes.” He hesitated. “I love him.” 

His mother smiled minutely, pouring green tea into both of their mugs. She’d painted them herself, the blue flowers contrasted beautifully on the glazed white. When Raymond was a child he would sit at the window and read while his mother painted him. He found the pictures many years later, after his father died. 

“When I first met your father I never thought I’d feel any romantic inclination towards him. He was always smiling and whistling and going somewhere.” She took a sip of her tea and Raymond did the same. “Then one day he said to me, ‘come on, come along with me Laverne!’ and I realized that I wanted to join him.” 

Raymond took another drink from his tea. He could track the warmth in his empty stomach. “I mean no disrespect but-” His mother interrupted him without speaking, filling his mug up to the brim and giving him a meaningful look.

“Raymond. There is nothing I can tell you, no advice I can give you, that will make this road any easier for you to walk down. You simply have to walk down it and hope you two fall into step with each other.” They finished their tea in silence. He was sure her eyes had misted but he couldn’t tell as the steam fogged her glasses.   
___________________

“So she was also useless?”  
“No Diaz, she taught me something very important. There’s nothing anyone can do about their feelings. Not you or I or Kevin or Jocelyn.”  
“Great.”  
“The same way that you may not understand Jocelyn she may not understand you.”  
“So everything’s confusing and there’s nothing you can do, dope.”

“But,” He said quickly, sensing Rosa’s imminent departure. “The same way that you love her and want to know about her is the same way she loves and wants to know about you. That’s how you make it work.” 

Rosa leaned back in her chair, thought for a beat and then nodded. “Yeah, yeah okay.” She stood and jutted her chin out at Holt, which took a minute for him to understand as a positive gesture. He was horrified by it but chose to accept it, nodding back at her.   
“Are you alright?”   
“Yeah. Thanks.” She left, closing the door a bit too hard behind her, as always. He looked after her, smiling softly as she immediately went to her desk and picked up her phone. He looked to his right and decided to do the same.

“Hello Captain Raymond Holt.” Kevin greeted. Instinctually Raymond looked around, startled and a bit scandalized by his husband’s lovey-dovey tone.  
“Goodness, I’m still at work!”  
“I’m aware of the circumstances.”  
“You Minx.” Kevin hummed devilishly. “I just spoke to Diaz.”  
“Oh, how is she doing?”  
“I spoke with her regarding her love life.”  
“Raymond please tell me you didn’t give that poor woman more relationship advice.”  
“I did.” Kevin made a noise. “Kevin, have you ever felt I was cold?”  
“Yes.”  
“Unfeeling?”  
“No.”  
“And why is that?” They’re following a script now, re-trodding a well worn path.

“Because if you didn’t feel, you wouldn’t love me and I knew that you loved me.”  
“Love you.”  
“Yes.”  
“Forever and always, Honey.” Kevin chuckled softly and Raymond felt his chest warm.  
“Forever and always.” There was a knock on the door and Holt looked up to see Santiago and Peralta arguing as Terry shouted back at them.   
“Ah, We’ll have to continue this conversation at a later date. I love you.”  
“I love you as well, goodbye.”

When he hung up the phone he could still feel the warmth in his chest grow with every thought he had of Kevin’s smile.


End file.
